The Toad: Embracing & Keeping Your Own Judgment

My favorite cartoon is the classic Warner Bros. cartoon, "One Froggy Evening."  One day while at work, a construction worker finds a box and inside it was a frog. Michigan J. Frog.  This was no ordinary frog as he had a top hat and cane and began to sing and dance for the construction worker.  With hopes of getting rich, the construction worker takes the frog to a talent agent in an attempt to exploit the frog and his talents.  But during the meeting, Michigan J. Frog only sat on the talent agent's desk and croaked.  Throughout the cartoon, the frog sings and dances for the construction worker when he wants to, but sits and croaks when the construction worker tries to exploit him.  The construction worker goes insane and broke and Michigan J. Frog continues doing as he pleases. 

Michigan J. Frog got it right. He knew who he was and did not allow the construction worker to control him.  He stayed true to himself and only sang and danced when he wanted to. 

I think of the clients that I have worked with over the years who have suffered from their blurred boundaries and controlling relationships.  Most likely without realizing it, these clients allowed other people to gain control of their thoughts and thus, their behavior. Michigan J. Frog escaped the influence of the construction worker by having a very strong sense of who he was.  If you think about it, it took a lot of guts for the frog to first sing and dance with a top hat with a cane, and second, to resist the direction of the construction worker who found him.

So what lessons can we learn from Michigan J. Frog?  First, always be aware of your inner voice.  And second, if that little voice has doubt, don't do it, don't say it, and don't blindly trust it.  If you wake up one day, and wonder who am I?  Watch this little cartoon… it will remind you you are unique just as you are and to always stay true to yourself.  

The words of Stephen Crane truly drive this point home:

"Think as I think," said the man, "or you are abominably wicked. You are a toad." "I think," I said, upon reflection, "that I shall be a toad."     

Ms. Trotter is a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist in private practice in Tulsa & Ponca City, Oklahoma. She has been conducting counseling with individuals, couples, children, adolescents, and families for approximately twenty years. You may now see a therapist from the privacy of your own home if you have a webcam,  smartphone, laptop, or tablet. Visit her website at www.treytrotter.com for additional information.