I'm Going Through a Divorce...Should I Go to Mediation?

ABSOLUTELY 100% YES!!!

I used to work at a courthouse and I would listen to Judges say they are not the best people to make decisions with regard to your children. They don't know your children's fears, their hopes or their dreams like you do.

I am a huge proponent of mediation because it is a process that allows you to remain in charge of the decision-making that affects you and your children. You can go to Mediation at anytime during the court process.

What is Mediation?
Mediation is a cooperative and confidential process where I sit down with you and your co-parent and we resolve unresolved issues, including but not limited to custody and visitation as well as modifications to your current orders.

Why Does it Work?
When we argue, we tend to get stuck defending our positions. As an experienced mediator, I take an "interest-based" approach in helping co-parents resolve their issues. "Interest–based" negotiation is focused on flushing out and resolving the issues that fuel your positions. While mediating I frequently hear, "Trey if we could talk like this we could've resolved our issues ourselves!" Sometimes it takes a trained neutral party to help you stay focused on the issues, and to help you learn effective communication and conflict resolution skills.

Can I Mediate if We Have a Protective Order?
Yes! I stagger the arrival and departure times so that you may have safe passage in and out of my office. You and your co-parent are put in separate rooms and I alternate meeting or "caucusing" with each of you separately.

How many times do we meet?
You will meet with me as many times as necessary to resolve the issues. I've met with clients anywhere from one to six times in the past.

What Happens After Mediation is Finished?
Upon completion of the final Mediation session, I will prepare a Memorandum of Understanding and submit it to you, your co-parent and the attorneys. The attorneys will draft your agreements into order form to present to the court for approval by the Judge. Your case will be finished and you don't have to go to court. You are welcome to come back in the future as necessary.

Ms. Trotter has been conducting counseling with individuals, couples, children, adolescents, and families for approximately twenty years.  She has been trained in Family and Divorce Mediation 12 O.S. § 1825, and has specialized in Domestic Abuse and Child Custody Mediation pursuant to 43 O.S. § 107.3.  See Ms. Trotter's website at http://www.treytrotter.com for additional information.