Puppy Dogs, Unicorns, & Rainbows: Why Is It So Hard To Be Happy?

When was the last time you heard someone say, "I am sooo happy!" Or, "I had a really fantastic day today!"

The expression of happiness today seems to rarely be heard. Most people seem to smile at it, others seem to want it, yet a lot of people don't seem to emote it. Why is that?

Is it the fear of being judged? Of being different? Is it just too cheesy, dorky, or completely uncool?

I remember one year I took a very non-scientific poll at Christmas time- a time of year I thought I could stack the odds in my favor toward hearing the expression of happiness. I asked 23 people from all walks of life including teachers, doctors, and trash collectors, 1 simple question, "How was your Christmas?" Most of the answers I received included emphatic complaints; "I'm so glad it's over!" "The children only wanted expensive gifts so they didn't get as much as usual-I never had that stuff as a kid!" and, "My in-laws were awful!"

One person, the 23rd person I asked, however, answered this way: "You know I had a pretty good Christmas. My family was altogether which made it great!" Do you know who he was? A janitor who had just finished cleaning a hospital bathroom. I told him thank you with a tear in my eye. After hearing his answer, I quit taking my poll. I finally found what I had been looking for; to hear a genuine expression of happiness.

I'm a pretty optimistic person most of the time. However I'm also realistic. I know life takes a toll on you and the bad stuff is easier to see. It cuts in front of you in line, it makes obscene gestures at you in traffic, and it passes you by for that well-deserved raise.

I also know that being happy is hard work. It takes commitment and perseverance. If you look, and keep looking, past the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 22nd negative you encounter, and no matter what bad stuff happens you choose to continue to focus on the positive, you will find that life will be a little easier. If I had stopped looking after the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 22nd negative encounter, I never would've found what I had been looking for.

I know life is hard. But sometimes, when you're least expecting it, as long as you keep trying you will find what you're looking for. I did. And I will never forget the janitor who reminded me that Puppy Dogs, Unicorns, and Rainbows, still do exist!!!

Ms. Trotter is a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist in private practice.  She has been conducting therapy with children, adolescents, teens, families, individuals, and couples since 1995.  You may now see a therapist from the privacy of your own home if you have a web cam, and a laptop smart phone or tablet.  Ms. Trotter is accepting referrals for:

Marriage Counseling
Pre-Marital Counseling
Anger Management
Emotional Regulation
Stress
Anxiety
Depression
Couples' Issues Including Sexual Problems and Infidelity
Co-Parenting with Separating or Divorced Parents
Aging Issues
Infidelity
ADHD
Reconciliation Therapy
Family, Adolescents and Children's issues
LGBT
Communication Issues
Conflict Resolution Difficulties

Ms. Trotter also works with the courts, providing therapeutic support to those involved in a family court case. She has been trained in Family and Divorce Mediation 12 O.S. § 1825, and has specialized in Domestic Abuse and Child Custody Mediation pursuant to 43 O.S. § 107.3. Ms. Trotter is accepting referrals for:

Mediation
Parenting Coordination
Custody Evaluations
Limited Scope Visitation Evaluations
Supervised (Including Therapeutic), Monitored Visitation & Exchanges
Reconciliation Therapy for Estranged Parents & Children
Adoption Home Studies

Visit Ms. Trotter's website at http://www.treytrotter.com for additional information.